Mytahelka

I remember loving you …

So this one time she asked me what I dream of 

And I in the most rom-com way said 

I am the dream of growing old with you 

Of course with three kids, and three dogs

Because she could interrupt, I continued

You see, we know you don’t want kids, I do 

We know I don’t want dogs, you do 

This is a great compromise.

She laughs 

And start thinking of names 

It’s been two years now since that dream broke 

And since that, I have wished for her on every shooting star 

Tell me how impossible can a wish be to turn the whole sky dark you know they say 

They say pain becomes art but they never tell you still hurts 

I guess the big bang was the universe’s heartbreak 💔

We are breathing in the void of what’s left obvious of its pain

I tell your memories to the same, they don’t leave

I remember holding you like a tree holding on to the last lief the only prof of a being alive,

I remember the rhythm of your breath on my chest. It still is my favourite music cassette 

I remember waiting to be the reason for your smile the way you were mine I remember thinking I should not, I remember the first time we met!

I tripped on a step and you smiled in that instance I feel twice 

I remember you loving caramel custards so much that now I can’t have one without thinking about your love that took my sweets tooth away 

I remember waking up to you and thinking how my dream has not ended yet 

Explain why I don’t wake up happy any more 

I remember things I want to forget

Things that hurt like a punch in the first fight in unlimited rounds,

Where I don’t push back because you told I was too kind to be violent  

So I set them on fire.

Verses after verses

Poems after poems 

My notes run out of poetry 

I am out of breath but I keep burning

You see it is much easier to survive the smoke than see you and not hold you 

I set ablaze everything that reminds me of you 

But they say if you set the forest on fire from the centre, you don’t survive either The flames reach me and I don’t move 

Growing old anyway does not make any sense now